| three days on teh vineyard |
[17 Jul 2003|09:18pm] |
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mood |
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 grateful |
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tuesday morning i left to go to marthas vineyard to spend three days with Jess and her parents and grandpa. I had the most excellent time. I'm so relaxed and laid back now. It just felt so good to get away from everything and just relax and spend time with Jess. We went to the beach each day, and walked around town and just hung out and had a great time. I just came home in a totally better mood with a smile on my face and a more positive attitude. Spending all that time with Jess was so great, just sitting by the beach with her in the evening was amazing. It just feels so amazing that we found eachother, and i can't even describe how i feel for her. My jaw and face is sore from smiling so much the past three days, and im just so happy im practically crying. I couldnt ask for anything more than three days of perfection with one amazing person. I can't wait to spend more time like that with her in the future.
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(1 orgasm | jiggle my junk)
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| hangin' tuff |
[13 Jul 2003|11:07am] |
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mood |
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 bored |
] |
Hey, no update for a while. I've been doing good, kinda bored right now. The band had a show on Friday, yea it was a flop. A bunch of bands booked for the show, and we where the only one that showed up for about 4 - 5 hours into the show. We never even played, becuase no one was coming. About 10 kids showed up. Pretty lame. But thats alright.
I'm going to Martha's Vineyard on tuesday morning to spend a few days with Jess and her family. It will be alot of fun. I'm just really looking foward to seeing her and spending time with her, having fun. :) I kind of feel bad thought; she usually brings a friend, but she didnt this year, and i just feel like she'd rather have someone else coming with her... Oh Well. Peace Out, keep it posi.
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(1 orgasm | jiggle my junk)
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[18 Jun 2003|10:39pm] |
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mood |
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 relaxed |
] |
well.... tomorrow is thursday, its a half day of school, im in shop, so thats very very chill. After school i get to see Jess, wich is even better. Today was long, and boring, to say the least. I have been pretty quiet with people lately, some people just bother me, i think everyone is getting moody, and sick of eachother, so summers comming just in time. If it wasnt people would probly start killin eachother. I know i've been stressed with school, but only 4 days left, and all are half... so it should be smooth sailing. This year has been a busy one.. Alot has happened and i've met alot of people and made alot of friends, i've learned alot about people, and myself. Me and are together for nearly the seventh month, the band is doing great, summers comming up, and i think things will only get better.
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(1 orgasm | jiggle my junk)
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[15 Jun 2003|11:01pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
] |
Well, last night, i hung out with taylor and ben, we went to mainstreet, it was good. I chilled out and just relaxed and had fun with them. Taylor slept over it was good to chill with him, we didnt to a hole lot, but it was good. Today i went to Jess's house, we hung out, and goofed around, cuddled and such. I had a great time just spending time with her. But god her room is like an oven, She needs AC. im to tired and lazy to rgith much in detail, but thats pretty much how saturday and sunday went. so bye.
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(4 orgasms | jiggle my junk)
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| it means so much more than words |
[14 Jun 2003|11:46am] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
] |
well its been a few days since i updated, this week went by really realy slow, school has been lame, only a week left tho.. i've been really stressed out lately, people are just getting to me, i guess people kinda nticed, since i started to stop going to lunch. I was looking foward to seeing jess all week, and i saw her last night. It made my week. Right now, im in a shitty mood, im tired, and my throat hurts, wich sucks becuase im suppose to go to practice today, i was going to hang out with jess but, she going to a party so i hope she has fun there, i guess we'll hang out tomorrow, i do feel disapointed, and i feel bad too... tomorrow is fathers day and i feel like Jess should spend time with her dad, plus she said she didnt want to do anything on sunday earlier this week, becuase she wanted to relax... so i guess we'll see if she wants too. I had really crappy dreams last night, i think thats contributing to my bad mood. I feel really weird, like im really not here, i feel almost like im still dreaming... i feel like shit, to say the least. heh.
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(1 orgasm | jiggle my junk)
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| till i stop breathing, my lungs will take you for granted. |
[09 Jun 2003|10:18pm] |
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mood |
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 guilty |
] |
eh. long time no updates, i kidna stopped using it for a while, i'm probly making a personal site that will have a blog on itt soon, so i'll move to that as soon as its done... but anyway. im crying. i feel like an asshole. i probly shouldnt. i just worry about me and jess. mainly jess, and what she's thinking about me. I just worry that somtimes she does things only becuase she thinks i'll get mad if she doesnt. i really dont think its true... i just worry. Most of you know what happened on friday night... i guess its normal to feel kind of guilty... i feel like a pedophile.
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(3 orgasms | jiggle my junk)
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| HMMM |
[14 Mar 2003|06:30am] |
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mood |
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 cold |
] |
uh. its 6:30 in the morning. all im wearing is a towel, ;} cuz i just got out of the shower. i should be getting ready for shool but i wanna update since i havent in a while. uhmm things are fine. Im gunna see jess tonight :] Friday night. is gunna be outa sight! oh what else. i think there might be an opening comming up in graphic arts. I really hope so. i keep getting screwed. even last year, i didnt even get to shadow it becuase there wasnt time. jeez. Well i think im gunna talk to someone about it next week. Hmm what else... Im listening to DMX. cuz well... DMX could kick my ass, actually DMX could kick alot of peoples ass's. Some sa tupac would tear him up. But i dont think so.. In a real street fight, i think X would destroy.. my ear itches. Oh well. off to school.
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(jiggle my junk)
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| hehehe |
[09 Mar 2003|07:25pm] |
xLetsG0: penis
headwalkx: what about penis
xLetsG0: i dont know
xLetsG0: just penis
headwalkx: ohh.. ok :-(
headwalkx: well
headwalkx: vagina
xLetsG0: your penis is super cool
headwalkx: no
headwalkx: its super lame
xLetsG0: and my vagina is super uncool
xLetsG0: no it isnt!
headwalkx: your vagina is super rad
xLetsG0: no
xLetsG0: its super stupid
headwalkx: NO ITS NOT!
xLetsG0: yes
headwalkx: i love your vagina!
xLetsG0: well
xLetsG0: i dont
xLetsG0: its ugly
headwalkx: omg
xLetsG0: and gross
headwalkx: ITS A VAGINA!
xLetsG0: yah i know
headwalkx: no vagina is wonderful looking!
headwalkx: well
headwalkx: except yours :-)
xLetsG0: lol
xLetsG0: joshua is so cool
xLetsG0: hes the nicest person in the world
xLetsG0: and
xLetsG0: joshua is a sexy man!
xLetsG0: :-D
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(4 orgasms | jiggle my junk)
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| yay |
[06 Mar 2003|10:39pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
] |
Me and Jess talked, and we worked things out. and i think we're both in a much better mood. But now i feel bad, because i was doing my homework, and i wasnt paying 100% attention to her.. and i just hope she didnt mind. :o[ i had to write a 2 page essay that was assigned on monday. I did it in like 30 minutes tho, the night before. I had to get it done...
So i'm sorry Jess. I just really have to get my grades up, they close tomorrow so i had to get this last major assignment done. Be happy!
I miss Jess alot. but i'll see her tomorrow after school :o]. well im in a better mood now. so horray. im exuasted tho. so im gonna hit the sack.
p.s. Thank you peaves for talking to me. :o]
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(jiggle my junk)
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| time after time i lost my head. |
[06 Mar 2003|06:45pm] |
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mood |
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 jealous |
] |
everyday i get up and i feel fine.. and i have a great day, but lately it seems like they always turn crap by the end. and im always upset. and i hate it... i just always end up feeling like shit. and crying. and being upset. and i hate it. it makes me sick. i just through up 3rd day in a row... and i just feel like such an ass, i always make Jess think im mad at her. and i always end up making her frustrated, because im always like this. i dont know why she puts up with me... i feel like we're walking a tight rope. and im just so afraid we're going to break up. i love her more than anything, but somtimes im just so afraid. and somtimes im upset, and somtimes im worried, and sometimes im frustrated. And honestly i feel like lately i just get frustrated... and i always feel like shit. I just always feel like.... lonely. even tho i know i have her. and i know shes there.. somtimes i just think she doesnt even wanna talk to me anymore. and everytime she has to go or somthing i wonder if its just becuase she doesnt want to talk to me... maybe its not true. but its just how i feel somtimes. I just wish i knew what she was thinking. i just wish she'd talk a little more... it seems like when i do wanna talk she doesnt, or shes busy, or i just feel like i should shut up. and then when she can talk and wants to... i just kinda lost patients.. I wish i knew what she was thinking... im always afriad to open my mouth and be honest. but i do it. i just wish somtimes she'd say somthing. anything. talk about somthing.. anything... somtimes i just wish she'd say i love you.. if nothing else.. i feel like.... we're not as close as we used to be. im afriad she doesnt trust me.. or that she doesnt care about me as much anymore.. maybe it sounds concieded, but im just afraid she's going to take me for granted... im just so worried, and... somtimes i just wanna say, if you dont wanna be with me anymore you can just say so... even tho i know i dont really wanna know the answer... and i dont want to get her angry... somtimes i wonder if i just care to much, but i couldnt care less than i do... i just care about her.. and us.. becuase i love her... but somtimes it just feels like i get a kick in the balls, and im afraid im going to get sick of that feeling...
Jess i love you more than anything, and im sorry for all this hardtime.. and im sorry if i make this seem like a job somtimes, and i feel like such a loser, becuase i never thought i'd be with you, and now i am... and i expect to much.. and im sorry..
p.s. my mood is jealous, becuase right now im just jealous of everything else besides me in jess's life.
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(1 orgasm | jiggle my junk)
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| meh |
[05 Mar 2003|08:08pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
] |
today was ok. then i was in a cruddy mood then i was happy. now im kinda in a cruddy mood agian.. i think i just miss jess... well hopefully i'll see her friday.
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(jiggle my junk)
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| uegflwgiugfweifg |
[03 Mar 2003|06:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 horny |
] |
well.. today went by pretty fast... nothing special happened... nothing great... uhmmm im in a fairly good moodd... and im really horny... but oh well... uhmm.. bye
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(2 orgasms | jiggle my junk)
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| meh. |
[02 Mar 2003|09:44pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
] |
well.. on saturday, i got to go to the mall and hang out with jess, it was fun.. altho i guess it wasnt as much fun for her, cuz i was being a selfish idiot and i wasnt paying attention to her... but i guess its cuz alot of the time she doesnt seem like she wants to be very close, becuase theres just so many people. so i figured i'd give her space... i just have trouble telling weather she wants space or not.. i mean.. i always want to be close to her. but im just always insecure and just think she'd rather go jump off a bridge... but i feel like an asshole now.. i probly should feel like one. i always screw up... i wish i could fix things. but now i feel even more shitty... i dont think she feels like talking to me, i dont blame her.. im such a fucking dick. seriously, i cant stand myself. i dont know how i ever got her. much less how i still have her. but im just a stupid ugly annoying idiot somtimes, and somtimes i want to kick my own ass. And now i miss her so much. But i always do when shes gone... i guess we can only learn from our regrets...
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(1 orgasm | jiggle my junk)
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| today.. |
[25 Feb 2003|11:09pm] |
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today i missed the bus... i stayed home and cried all day and felt like shit. then i went and got new shoes and shit.. but who cares? no one really. caring.. what a fucking joke.
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(3 orgasms | jiggle my junk)
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| missed bus |
[25 Feb 2003|07:09am] |
| [ |
mood |
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blank |
] |
well.. i missed the bus, so... my mom is pissed... and says im "grounded" even tho it wasnt my fault, and i barely missed it. She's a whore. but... uhmmm. Oh well, this sucks.. like you. heh. im a riot..
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(2 orgasms | jiggle my junk)
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| uhm. |
[23 Feb 2003|12:11pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
] |
yea. last night i went to the show at the juice bar.. thats about all i have to say about that...
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(jiggle my junk)
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